Dear RAF
Hi I am Tobias a former student of the London nautical school and a trustworthy, efficient scientist. I have many qualifications and got a A* in all three science topics Physics, Biology and Chemistry. I am committed to this project as ever since I was a young boy I have wanted to do something great to improve this world and I feel that this will satisfy my hunger for that.
My proposal to you is a scientific project which will change our aircraft forever. It involves changing the length of a helicopters wings to make it fly better. As we all know when a helicopter is hit or something goes wrong the driver does not always have enough time to escape the aircraft before it crashes. As the length of the wings increase the time it takes to fall will increase that will give the driver enough time to escape and there for saving a life which could have been lost with our current aircraft technology. I believe that experimenting with the length of the wings will be a better option to investigate because as you can see from the graph below the wing length is the most effective verbal out of all the other variables making this experiment worth it.
If this graph did not explain enough here a couple of links to help understand. (These links have been taken from https://www.rose-hulman.edu/~stienstr/me421/DOE2001.htm)
A presentation – In this presentation they investigated how the size or length of the wings effects the time it takes to hit the floor this proves that this experiment has been conducted before which makes it an interesting to investigate.
https://prezi.com/x506d6eluwgz/how-does-the-size-of-the-wings-and-the-type-of-paper-affect/
A video- In this video this guy investigates if the weight effects the rotation of a paper helicopter. In the end we find out that the weight does not effect the paper helicopter. That is why I will not need to be investigating with the weight of a paper helicopter.
Think about my proposal and remember when this project succeeds you will save the life’s of many of your pilots. Thank you for you time.
Yours sincerely Tobias
June 29, 2016 at 8:45 pm
Man, I’ve enjoyed reading this!
I think it’s pretty persuasive and you’ve tugged at the RAFs heart strings. Great plan. I like that you included your qualifications because it makes you seem trustworthy but, you know what? I think you could have been honest and used the most relevant badges as evidence of your expertise. I’d be pretty impressed with what you’ve unlocked this year.
Lets make some improvements:
Give this a quick proof read. Some of you sentences are very long and hard to read and you’ve missed words out which change your intended meaning.
You must provide a hypothesis. I think you have attempted this with the statement about what you think will happen. A Hypothesis isn’t about what we think. It’s an evidence based, testable statement. So simply say “my hypothesis is” and go from there. You can’t get the hypothesis badge until this is directional either – do find me to discuss this.
Finally, your evidence all seems great but I can’t assess it’s relevance until you have provided a suitable hypothesis. Let me know when you want it checked.
I’ll verbally feedback on the second piece in class tomorrow,
See you then!
June 29, 2016 at 8:48 pm
One more thing. The title of the piece isn’t Hypothesis Badge. This is one way of getting one. Please go to my classwork post and use that title
K